porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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