Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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