She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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