so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
