He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
