Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize