we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize