Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Randomize
