So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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