it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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