Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
