So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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