dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
The struggles of a small town man whore
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
