So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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