He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
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