Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I can feel your judgement through the phone
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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