is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
