don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
