Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize