We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
