shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize