Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
