yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
It was a blind-side dick pic.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
