Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
The uberlube is also flammable
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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