So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Randomize