If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize