Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
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