I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Randomize
