She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
