I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
