rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
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