well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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