A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
