so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Let the clothes fall where they may.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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