And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize
