8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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