i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
