No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
