yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
