i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
