If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Just pee around me
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
