I'm really into asian looking animals
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
