Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
