Duck Duck Cougar?
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
