I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
