dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
