The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
