my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
You took a bar mat shot.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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