I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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