I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I'm at about main and main street
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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