genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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