dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Actions speak louder than pants.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Randomize
