Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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