Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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