my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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