Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
