I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize