Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I have tasted many bathrooms
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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