I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
