U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
