Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Randomize
