I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
